She had not really thought about this her entire life.
In the past, she was most comfortable with herself.
She stepped through daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend and wife.
Her one constant solace were the tomes on her bookshelf.
She mingled and had fun with family and friends.
She was not the antisocial, silent or reclusive sort.
Most times she was genuine, a few times pretend.
When she managed to stay in, even though she wanted to abort.
Abort the meeting so that she could reunite with her lonely book.
Abort the social function so that she could reunite with her inner self.
Instead she would search and find a dark, cozy nook.
Imagine that she had disappeared or turned into an elf.
She never felt the need for company all those times when she was alone.
Perfectly happy with her own company, entertaining herself to the core.
She had pretend conversations, had multiple characters to call her own.
She could be the equestrienne, an astronaut, someone who couldn’t be ignored.
Then life happened and slowly and surely, the inevitable happened.
Her being was withered away like the rock being rubbed with water.
Her “supposed” sharp edges were honed, her darkness lightened.
All her roles were thrown at her, mother, wife and daughter.
Until one day, it so happened that she was in the midst of a huge crowd.
People everywhere, talking and chatting, everyone having a ball.
She felt so lonely – as if she was the lone black one among silvery clouds.
All she wanted was to shrivel up and withdraw, once for all.
What a wonder are the qualities of self-confidence and self-assurance.
They are all the company one needs when one is alone.
There are many of you against them in the far distance.
Almost as if you have many, multiple clones.
And when these qualities are chipped away from one.
The world suddenly becomes dark and dangerous and deadly.
You step into being lonely from just being alone.
A million butterflies replace the fire in the belly.
So, what did she do? The lady in our tale.
The first was that she recognised what had happened to her.
She took her life back, changed from the whispering wind into a gale.
And ensured that the slip back down into loneliness never recurred.
She went back to her world of books and dreams.
Re-united with her inner self, whom she had divorced.
Now she is a lot happier and has more smiles and beams.
Her entire demeanour of old was now reversed. 🙂